29 and A Lot of Change

So, I had a birthday yesterday. I tried telling the kids I was 29 for the eighteenth time, but it is only the second week of school, and the resulting math was way too complicated for everyone.

Also, 29x18 does not equal 257.
It's going to be a long year in Algebra II.

Eleanor: Wait, so you're like 257 or something?
Me: For the 18th time, not times 18.
Eleanor: <blank look>
Betty: So you're like 52?
Me: 29 + 18 does not = 52.
Eleanor: Geez, Betty, don't make her old!
Bruce: So you're 49?

For the record, I'm 47.

We celebrated the way we always celebrate: by enjoying a staggering amount of Chinese food at the Happy Dragon. Happy Dragon is a family favorite, in part because it represents one of the few times where it is socially acceptable to say PuPu at the dinner table. Also in part because the PuPu platter arrives on fire, and who doesn't love a good indoor bonfire? And then everybody gets to take leftovers to school/work. In a universe-frying move, Eleanor ordered her usual (Dragon Fried Rice), at the Happy Dragon, while wearing a Round Rock Dragons t-shirt.

Then, as we usually do on such occasions, I took them to Target and gave them money and they went inside to buy me a present. Usually, I go in and wait in the food court, so that they can come running up to me every 10 minutes to argue about how they can't agree on anything and can I please tell [insert name, usually Betty] to just shut up and go along with everyone else [aka, Eleanor], but, with Shark Week, I stayed in the car with Mom. Either they solved their own arguments this time, or maybe they found some other mom in the food court to complain to. I didn't ask.

Since we never have gotten around to buying normal candles, Betty found an orchestra fund raiser candle and lit it. I made a wish and blew out the candles. (Note: it IS that time again, so if you're in the Austin area and want an orchestra candle, let me know.)

Bob: It's what's for dinner.
Or, Bob: it's lurking around trying to find out whether
the chocolate cake contains bacon.

Bruce: What'd you wish for?
Eleanor: Don't ask that, you idiot!
Bruce: That's a stupid superstition!
Me: Can't tell you.
Betty: Don't jinx her!
Bruce: I know. You wished for your foot to get better.
Me: Nailed it in one!

Then, Mom realized that we forgot to sing Happy Birthday, so Betty re-lit the candle. Then an argument broke out between the kids as to whether my previous wish was invalidated by re-lighting the candles.

Fun fact: Betty loves candles AND
lighters. If the house burns down,
now you know why.

This led to a new debate over how many times we would have to light the same candle to get to 47. Eventually, after a number of guesses that would cause three separate math teachers to weep, we arrived at the correct answer (23.5 times, or, since it's a two-wick candle, 23 times with both wicks and once with just one wick).

Clearly, school has begun.

Next came the presents.

If this looks like a lot of presents, it is because Betty loves to wrap things. And give things.

Look at that pile!

The smallest package consisted of a single candy bar that Mom had bought me and that Betty placed in its own bag, covered with about five full sized sheets of tissue paper.

The second smallest bag consisted of Betty's present, also covered in tissue paper:

1. A good luck Japanese cat (maneki-neko) figurine she bought in Chinatown this summer.
2. Two stuffed animals she found in the back of her closet, both of which looked as though the dogs peed on them and one of which was Eleanor's. (Note: both cleaned up just fine in the wash, and Eleanor has moved on from Lambs to Llamas and was not upset.)
3. A wand made out of duck tape (we are reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix).
4. A purple pen that she had borrowed from me many months ago and forgotten to return.
5. Two drawings.

The biggest bag, in addition to the remainder of our tissue paper supplies, contained what the kids bought me at Target: a collection of fancy gel pens and a beautiful new journal and a lovely card, in which they wrote:

• "I love you! Don't worry, you won't have to deal with kids after 8 more years!"--Eleanor
• "Hi, Mom, You've fed us, and that's pretty neat."--Bruce
• "Your a grate friend as well as a grate Mom."--Betty

Note that Betty re-re-lit the candle.
It may have been a mistake to teach her how to use the lighter.

The box contained ANOTHER box (Bob was beside himself) which contained a Ninja blender from Mom, which Eleanor and I are both very excited about. Eleanor is looking forward to blending up some salsas and dips; I'm looking forward to making more smoothies and drinks (as well as my favorite Corn Chowder).

So, all in all, 257 (or 52, or 46, or whatever) was a pretty awesome birthday. All of the well wishes from family, friends, and colleagues made me appreciate yet again how much love there is in my life, and, believe me, I would totally count my blessings, except that we've already had a lot of bad math this weekend and, in the interests of accuracy, it's probably best to wait until later in the school year.

Thank you to everyone who's sent me happy wishes, presents, dinners out, large air purifying office plants, piles of chocolate, videos of a dude telling me I'm awesome, and other reminders that Shark Week is not forever, but family and friends are! You guys rock!